Whenever, I am struggling with things I look to my dreams to inform me. I have had some really vivid ones. Here is a hodge-podge of my dreams.
I was staying at this crowed resort type place. There were hills and mountains all around. It was very green and verdant. There was mountain biking and the housing was pretty split level dark wooden condos. I was in the midst of a crowd of people filled with some familiar faces and some unfamiliar. My group was waiting to join one of the color-clad, fully decked out super jacked sports teams playing on the field. One team in particular was wearing this deep blue color. Like the color of water. There was a human pyramid and one team of 10 or more was pelting a single player with a water cannon.
There were large screens that projected the activity for people to watch on the outskirts of the game.
I remember thinking that this was a much younger crowd than I am used to and that all this “sports stuff” seemed overly steroidal and sort of militant. I was not looking forward to joining the super-soaker team.
Green Cigarettes and the White Haired-Lady
I while ago, I had a dream I was wandering through a friend’s apartment and this little white haired lady was following me and putting out my little green cigarettes I was left behind. She didn’t say anything to me. Just would pick up my cigarettes and unwrap them. I felt like she was looking for something inside the green sticks.
As I explored the apartment I went out a back door and down a staircase that lead to a really elaborate water park with slides and overhangs and lots of families and people. I was standing on this bridge in the water up to my ankles talking to my friend. There was a huge crowd of people behind him that were his family.
I had a dream about a post-apocalyptic world. I was driving around in the mess and there were wild animals loose all over the place. Trash everywhere and hundreds of dirty people wandering. I ended up in a school/shelter with other people and there were a pair of tigers that had escaped from the zoo. People were standing around dumb staring at them. I told them to back up and give the animals room.
I ripped open a box of meat and starting hurling it down the hall at the tigers. One male and one female. They took the meat and dragged it to the corner and began eating. Then the room cleared and it was just me and the tigers. There was no fear. Just me feeding them. I was calm. They were calm. They just watched me and I watched them. The world got quiet. It was shared control and calm. I was at peace.
A Car Ride
The last dream I had before I awoke was a really vivid one. It was so disturbing and visceral that my stomach and heart still ache thinking about it.
In my dream I was riding in the back seat of the car and beside me was my friend Karen. Her door opened as the car was moving and she fell out backwards and smacked her head on the pavement and ended up on the curb. I remember the look of pain and surprise that was on her face as her head hit the road. I watched the back of her head come off in one bloody piece.
I jumped out of the car and instructed whoever I was with to call 911 and ran towards her. As I was running towards her I kept saying to myself, “I can’t handle this. I am going to be sick. This is too much. I don’t want to see it.”
But, I didn’t turn away. I reacted and didn’t hesitate and went to her even though I wanted to be sick. I dragged her from the pavement to the grass on the side of the road. As I cradled her body and her half bloody head I kept telling her she would be alright.
I looked down at her and realized I was holding myself.